Sunday, 25 August 2013
Tips on leaving your child for the first time
Yesterday Callum and I left our five week old daughter with her Nana and Grandad for ten hours whilst we went to see Book of Mormon which Callum had given to me as my Birthday present in March. As the day dawned I became both excited and apprehensive about leaving our daughter at such a young age but I needn't have because it went the best it could. So here are my tips based on what worked for us:
So for us this was a really positive experience that probably couldn't have gone better, which is so reassuring! I am really glad we did decide to spend time away from her as a couple as early as five weeks because it will enable her to develop that independence away from us and relationship with her grandparents as soon as possible. I obviously wouldn't want to do it too often though, it was pretty hard leaving her little face in her car seat and walking around without her!
Get the babysitter to have them for a shorter period beforehand:
My mum is used to looking after children so was more than comfortable about looking after Ophelia but I think this is a good idea for both parents and the babysitter as well as getting the baby to feel comfortable and reduce anxiety.Prepare your baby's bag and your bag the night before:
I found this one of the most useful things I did, by packing bags the night before it avoided any last minute panic.Timing:
If you have to be somewhere by a specific time I recommend getting the babysitters to arrive way in advance. We had to catch a train at 10:50 so I asked my parents to arrive at 9:30, to allow for recap on how to use the pram, car sear etc as well as any unexpected poo/sick up/feed. By doing this, Callum and I were at the train station ten minutes early.. anyone that knows us will know how massive this is!!Feeds:
An obvious one, but if breastfeeding I recommend expressing daily for the week before (I found the best time to be first thing in the morning) and putting them in the freezer, then taking them out the day before you need them. I then made sure I had more than enough, just in case! For ten hours, I expressed five bottles and gave them to my Mum and Dad in a cool bag with freezer coolers to keep them cool until they could put them in the fridge. You also need to get your baby used to taking the bottle before hand and this is usually recommended to be done BEFORE your child is six weeks old otherwise there is a risk they won't be able to adjust from nipple to teat. I don't know how true this is but we had done so from very early.Beliefs:
I think it's really important that if you have certain ways of doing things or certain routines etc that you pass them on to the babysitters. I'm sure this one is much more important when they're older but for us, we think it's really important for children to get the same message rather than conflicting. At the moment Ophelia needs to have short naps in the day otherwise she is a nightmare come nighttime (i.e. doesn't sleep and screams), so we tactfully broached this with my parents, without trying to sound dictatorial by explaining the reasons and benefits of doing so and explaining possible ways of managing this. Thankfully my parents really took this on board, which was really reassuring as a parent. One topic that will be difficult is the fact my mum doesn't believe in dummies but Callum and I do, so this one is likely to be difficult when it is implemented and they look after her!So for us this was a really positive experience that probably couldn't have gone better, which is so reassuring! I am really glad we did decide to spend time away from her as a couple as early as five weeks because it will enable her to develop that independence away from us and relationship with her grandparents as soon as possible. I obviously wouldn't want to do it too often though, it was pretty hard leaving her little face in her car seat and walking around without her!
Thursday, 15 August 2013
Parenting highs and lows: 4 weeks in
Highs:
- After hours (or it feels like) of screaming, when you manage to calm her down.
- Her peaceful face.
- Looking down and seeing those beautiful big blue eyes staring up at me, priceless.
- When she first started to become more alert.
- When she started looking at us and would turn her eyes and head to wherever our voices come from.
- Seeing her reach out for her toys.
- Learning how to pacify her better.
- Days when she doesn't mind being changed or clothed.
- Getting through poo explosions and mass sick ups.
- Breastfeeding after parking up the car, but not panicking even though it made me even later to meet my friend!
- The day she threw up in my bra on my way out the door!..
- ..And proceeded to do a poo explosion!
- The interrupted sleep..
- ..or the nights of only getting one hour!
- When she won't stop crying!!!
- Sleep or lack thereof affecting my tolerance levels at times.
Sunday, 4 August 2013
Breastfeeding week
Seeing as it's world breastfeeding week, I thought it only apt that I talk about breastfeeding!
Today also marks two weeks since my daughter was birthed into this world, so a good time to reflect on this oh so lovely bonding experience (!).
When I was pregnant, all the midwives would talk about is how breastfeeding is such a good bond between mother and baby (said in a hippy accent), which kind of annoyed me before I even started-what about those people that can't breastfeed?!
Anywho, enough of that.
When baby Grantham (or Wearing as she was formally known) was born, about 30 minutes later the midwife latched her on and feeding began. Soon after this, she did a mamouth green explosion.
After this we were left fairly to our own devices to get on, although all the staff made sure to let us know they were around if we wanted to ask for help. We were lucky in that our gal has a latch as strong as a vacuum, but I was surprised at how much help babies actually need, not necessarily as instinctive as the midwives make out! I liked the hands off approach the hospital had as it didn't make me feel under pressure to perform but I also felt supported.
Milk production has never been a problem for me, i've been literally streaming colostrum from both boobs since I found out I was pregnant. In fact, if anything i'm producing way too much (i'm having to hold bottles up to both boobs!) and this makes it hard for baby girl to latch on-think trying to suck a wet beach ball.
We got lots of support from the midwives in our first week and at first baby wasn't really getting enough milk because of several things; she was being a fuss pot, I found it hard to be comfortable getting positions I felt comfortable doing, she wouldn't wake herself when hungry and it was a new experience for us to get used to. She lost nearly the 10% of her weight so we were given a feeding plan which involved us having to wake her every 2-3 hours to feed. The methods the midwife recommended to wake her up (blow on or water on the face) didn't really work-our little girl is quite the heavy sleeper!
It was made harder by the fact she was carrying on her sleeping habits from the womb (nocturnal) so our first four nights were spent getting no more than an hour sleep all day or night!!! Thankfully the 2-3 hour waking, mixed with keeping her awake from 7pm til 12am (recommended by lifesaving friend!) has led to some improvement. We have since been getting generally at least two lots of three hour sleep a night, which is a vast improvement!!
I have grown in confidence since first breastfeeding and this is thanks to support from Callum, midwives and a few specific friends (Keely and Lydia if you're reading)-I really would be struggling otherwise. Don't get me wrong, i still find it tricky particularly-particular low points are when she feeds near on continuously for the whole day and I feel like I can't do anything or in the middle of the night. I'm slowly getting better at feeding in public, although there is still improvement to come there but hey, its only been a fortnight!
Overall its def been a learning curve but it's one that is really teaching me so much about myself and my daughter! There is nothing better than having a tough feed and seeing my daughter's eyes gazing up at me.
Today also marks two weeks since my daughter was birthed into this world, so a good time to reflect on this oh so lovely bonding experience (!).
When I was pregnant, all the midwives would talk about is how breastfeeding is such a good bond between mother and baby (said in a hippy accent), which kind of annoyed me before I even started-what about those people that can't breastfeed?!
Anywho, enough of that.
When baby Grantham (or Wearing as she was formally known) was born, about 30 minutes later the midwife latched her on and feeding began. Soon after this, she did a mamouth green explosion.
After this we were left fairly to our own devices to get on, although all the staff made sure to let us know they were around if we wanted to ask for help. We were lucky in that our gal has a latch as strong as a vacuum, but I was surprised at how much help babies actually need, not necessarily as instinctive as the midwives make out! I liked the hands off approach the hospital had as it didn't make me feel under pressure to perform but I also felt supported.
Milk production has never been a problem for me, i've been literally streaming colostrum from both boobs since I found out I was pregnant. In fact, if anything i'm producing way too much (i'm having to hold bottles up to both boobs!) and this makes it hard for baby girl to latch on-think trying to suck a wet beach ball.
We got lots of support from the midwives in our first week and at first baby wasn't really getting enough milk because of several things; she was being a fuss pot, I found it hard to be comfortable getting positions I felt comfortable doing, she wouldn't wake herself when hungry and it was a new experience for us to get used to. She lost nearly the 10% of her weight so we were given a feeding plan which involved us having to wake her every 2-3 hours to feed. The methods the midwife recommended to wake her up (blow on or water on the face) didn't really work-our little girl is quite the heavy sleeper!
It was made harder by the fact she was carrying on her sleeping habits from the womb (nocturnal) so our first four nights were spent getting no more than an hour sleep all day or night!!! Thankfully the 2-3 hour waking, mixed with keeping her awake from 7pm til 12am (recommended by lifesaving friend!) has led to some improvement. We have since been getting generally at least two lots of three hour sleep a night, which is a vast improvement!!
I have grown in confidence since first breastfeeding and this is thanks to support from Callum, midwives and a few specific friends (Keely and Lydia if you're reading)-I really would be struggling otherwise. Don't get me wrong, i still find it tricky particularly-particular low points are when she feeds near on continuously for the whole day and I feel like I can't do anything or in the middle of the night. I'm slowly getting better at feeding in public, although there is still improvement to come there but hey, its only been a fortnight!
Overall its def been a learning curve but it's one that is really teaching me so much about myself and my daughter! There is nothing better than having a tough feed and seeing my daughter's eyes gazing up at me.
Monday, 29 July 2013
Ophelia's birth story
Friday 19th July neither of us slept very well, due to the cat being her usual naughty self throughout the night and keeping us awake. So when I felt a few tightenings at 8am Saturday, I bet callum that our daughter would decide to make her appearance, bearing in mind she was supposedly 40+2 at this point. My alarm went off at 830am but by this point I was already aware labour was on its way as I had already been up to the toilet with bowels literally 6 times in as many minutes.
The morning was spent rather cheerily, I made Callum and I coffee, breakfast and lunch in between contractions and occasionally bounced on the yoga ball. At this point there had been no plug, nor had my waters broken. We started using a contraction timer about 9:30am little did we know we were timing them wrong though (you re only meant to time the very peak of the contraction, when you can't speak) and at first I found it hard to know quite precisely when the contraction started and ended.
About 4pm the contractions started getting too much to bear and I spent pretty much all of the next 7 hours sat on the toilet, bracing myself using at first Callum's hands but as the pain progressed it moved to arms then legs. I also occasionally used the basin or bath, I also had a bath around here and my mum turned up as we had asked her to be our lift to the hospital and look after Inara.
By this point I started asking Callum to call the hospital because we thought the contractions were 3 minutes apart and 30 seconds long (turns out they weren't). Callum said the hospital sounded so reluctant each time we called and so he kept trying to put me off calling again. they recommended paracetemol, which did nothing.
About 9pm Callum called the hospital as the pain was getting too much for me and they reluctantly said we could come in but we thought they mught turn us away so we held on until 11pm. The show then appeared and the contractions increaed after this, plus I was sick a few times. It was at this point we decided to go in.
My mum didn't know how ti get to the hospital which I think was partly due to being stressed, so Callum directed. I'll point out now that the contractions were so strong by this point I couldn't talk. Callum was trying to help me through contractions, time them, hold the sick bowl AND direct!This explains what happens next! We drove past the turning for the most obvious way to the hospital, which I remember thinking was a bit odd but knew there were other possible routes. In his stress, Callum took us the one way we couldn't get to the hospital- down the road for busses and taxis only- at this point all I could manage to say was "NO, NO!". Mum then drove on the wrong side of the road, as cars were coming towards us and then nearly ran over pedestrians!!! I was convinced we were going to crash! We eventually made it to the hospital and got to triage, where they said they had been waiting a while for me and congratulated me for being 4-5cm dilated!! I remember being so proud that we had got that far along and stayed at home. She proceeded to pull lots of plug out, it was pretty gross- really bloody and thick gunky. TMI?!
My Mum then turned up, i'm not sure why as we had said that she was to go home, i think she was just worried. It turns out that the ward was quiet, dead some might say! I was the only one there! We were taken to a room and I remember immediately being struck with the panoramic view; overseeing the city with the pier and Brighton wheel all illuminated The room also felt welcoming, with a yoga ball, bean bag and chairs. I didn't use the ball as I had found it uncomfortable and unhelpful when at home. I tried leaning over the hospital bed at varying heights but I didn't feel it helped. I was at this point keen for drugs after labouring for 15 hours with no pain relief. The midwives understandably wanted to try lesser pain relief first and also recommended the pool. Whilst I was pregnant I had liked the idea of a water birth but after contracting in the bath at home and realising it did nothing, i wasn't sure the pool would help. How wrong I was! Before getting in the pool I tried gas and air,but I really struggled to get on with it in regard to regulating my breathing and the pain was so horrible I was close to tears and requesting an epidural lol. My lovely midwife somehow managed to convince me to go try the pool and we managed to get me using the gas and air successfully. Together this made for the perfect combination and I spent the next four hours floating around with iced sanitary towels on my face (there is photographic evidence!) high as a kite, babbling utter nonesense whilst Callum and my Mum fed me gas and air/gave me water. The pain was near enough gone whilst in the pool (until towards the end), so you can understand I was reluctant to get our when the Midwife wanted me to go sit on the toilet a few times, everytime I did this, the pain returned.
After four hours the midwife examined me for the fist time since triage and I had not dilated any further! I was so disappointed because everyone was saying how well it was going! I then had to come out of the pool as a senoir midwife wanted to see me and I had some pethidine. I didn't feel the pethidine worked but Callum tells me it seemed to take the edge off the pain. They then decided to break my waters, which I remember being vaguely painful and like someone was going to pull my insides out. They soon realised that darling daughter had pooed and the midwives were lovely in keeping me informed what was going on, gently mentioning that lots of people may enter the room. Incidentally at some point they did, but I never felt worried or intimidated. I don't remember much in detail after this except the tempo seemed to amp up. They tried to monitor baby but couldn't get the clip to attach to her head (i also found this very painful!), instead it was attached to my cervix so they put something around my midrift instead. During this time, there were several people prepping and prodding me; I had the midwives at the vag, another one trying to fit a cannula (which then squirted blood all over the place, luckily the drugs made me feel like I was watching it happen on the tv), another midwife trying to fit a catheter and the anesthetist trying to fit the epidural.
The anesthetist was great, making sure to talk me through the procedure and how it should work. Unfortunately baby was not happy if I sat up (which is the best position for the epidural to be inserted for it to work), so the anesthetist had to try to fit it with me laying down on my side. She was so patient, trying to wait for the contraction to pass and carefully put all the things in my back. Poor Callum was watching all this happen whilst my Mum either looked out the window or leant on his shoulder because she was worried. He had to see masses of blood and blood soaked sheets be changed every few minutes, then had to mop blood of the floor! They gave me a few goes of the epidural but things progressed so quickly from when they broke my waters that there wasn't time for it to work properly. They sprayed stuff on me to work out where I could and couldn't feel it but I could still feel it pretty much everywhere. I was by this point getting quite tired and talk began to go towards heading to surgery for forceps or the proviso of an elective c. It was at this point that they thought I was still about 2 hours from delivering her so they were starting to get concerned. I had other ideas and just started pushing, much to the midwives' surprise and apparently they had never seen anything like it, sheer determination which came from nowhere. I had got to the point where pain relief hadn't worked so I just wanted it over and done with as soon as possible.
I found the pushing really wasn't that bad, it gave me something to concentrate on and be an active part of, rather than the contractions which made me feel like a slave to them and unproductive! I was worried that the way I was pushing wasn't right and that it'd go wrong, but apparently instinct kicked in and every push was efficient. We needed a bit of help via the kiwi and an episiotomy but she was soon born at 8:22am on a sunny Sunday.
Overall we were so very lucky with our experience and the people who took care of us, which we are very thankful for! Oh, also, it turns out that she was in fact 42 weeks old (the placenta's deterioration gave this away), so the first appointment at the GP was infact the right due date-5th July! No wonder I was struggling so much by the end!
The morning was spent rather cheerily, I made Callum and I coffee, breakfast and lunch in between contractions and occasionally bounced on the yoga ball. At this point there had been no plug, nor had my waters broken. We started using a contraction timer about 9:30am little did we know we were timing them wrong though (you re only meant to time the very peak of the contraction, when you can't speak) and at first I found it hard to know quite precisely when the contraction started and ended.
About 4pm the contractions started getting too much to bear and I spent pretty much all of the next 7 hours sat on the toilet, bracing myself using at first Callum's hands but as the pain progressed it moved to arms then legs. I also occasionally used the basin or bath, I also had a bath around here and my mum turned up as we had asked her to be our lift to the hospital and look after Inara.
By this point I started asking Callum to call the hospital because we thought the contractions were 3 minutes apart and 30 seconds long (turns out they weren't). Callum said the hospital sounded so reluctant each time we called and so he kept trying to put me off calling again. they recommended paracetemol, which did nothing.
About 9pm Callum called the hospital as the pain was getting too much for me and they reluctantly said we could come in but we thought they mught turn us away so we held on until 11pm. The show then appeared and the contractions increaed after this, plus I was sick a few times. It was at this point we decided to go in.
My mum didn't know how ti get to the hospital which I think was partly due to being stressed, so Callum directed. I'll point out now that the contractions were so strong by this point I couldn't talk. Callum was trying to help me through contractions, time them, hold the sick bowl AND direct!This explains what happens next! We drove past the turning for the most obvious way to the hospital, which I remember thinking was a bit odd but knew there were other possible routes. In his stress, Callum took us the one way we couldn't get to the hospital- down the road for busses and taxis only- at this point all I could manage to say was "NO, NO!". Mum then drove on the wrong side of the road, as cars were coming towards us and then nearly ran over pedestrians!!! I was convinced we were going to crash! We eventually made it to the hospital and got to triage, where they said they had been waiting a while for me and congratulated me for being 4-5cm dilated!! I remember being so proud that we had got that far along and stayed at home. She proceeded to pull lots of plug out, it was pretty gross- really bloody and thick gunky. TMI?!
My Mum then turned up, i'm not sure why as we had said that she was to go home, i think she was just worried. It turns out that the ward was quiet, dead some might say! I was the only one there! We were taken to a room and I remember immediately being struck with the panoramic view; overseeing the city with the pier and Brighton wheel all illuminated The room also felt welcoming, with a yoga ball, bean bag and chairs. I didn't use the ball as I had found it uncomfortable and unhelpful when at home. I tried leaning over the hospital bed at varying heights but I didn't feel it helped. I was at this point keen for drugs after labouring for 15 hours with no pain relief. The midwives understandably wanted to try lesser pain relief first and also recommended the pool. Whilst I was pregnant I had liked the idea of a water birth but after contracting in the bath at home and realising it did nothing, i wasn't sure the pool would help. How wrong I was! Before getting in the pool I tried gas and air,but I really struggled to get on with it in regard to regulating my breathing and the pain was so horrible I was close to tears and requesting an epidural lol. My lovely midwife somehow managed to convince me to go try the pool and we managed to get me using the gas and air successfully. Together this made for the perfect combination and I spent the next four hours floating around with iced sanitary towels on my face (there is photographic evidence!) high as a kite, babbling utter nonesense whilst Callum and my Mum fed me gas and air/gave me water. The pain was near enough gone whilst in the pool (until towards the end), so you can understand I was reluctant to get our when the Midwife wanted me to go sit on the toilet a few times, everytime I did this, the pain returned.
After four hours the midwife examined me for the fist time since triage and I had not dilated any further! I was so disappointed because everyone was saying how well it was going! I then had to come out of the pool as a senoir midwife wanted to see me and I had some pethidine. I didn't feel the pethidine worked but Callum tells me it seemed to take the edge off the pain. They then decided to break my waters, which I remember being vaguely painful and like someone was going to pull my insides out. They soon realised that darling daughter had pooed and the midwives were lovely in keeping me informed what was going on, gently mentioning that lots of people may enter the room. Incidentally at some point they did, but I never felt worried or intimidated. I don't remember much in detail after this except the tempo seemed to amp up. They tried to monitor baby but couldn't get the clip to attach to her head (i also found this very painful!), instead it was attached to my cervix so they put something around my midrift instead. During this time, there were several people prepping and prodding me; I had the midwives at the vag, another one trying to fit a cannula (which then squirted blood all over the place, luckily the drugs made me feel like I was watching it happen on the tv), another midwife trying to fit a catheter and the anesthetist trying to fit the epidural.
The anesthetist was great, making sure to talk me through the procedure and how it should work. Unfortunately baby was not happy if I sat up (which is the best position for the epidural to be inserted for it to work), so the anesthetist had to try to fit it with me laying down on my side. She was so patient, trying to wait for the contraction to pass and carefully put all the things in my back. Poor Callum was watching all this happen whilst my Mum either looked out the window or leant on his shoulder because she was worried. He had to see masses of blood and blood soaked sheets be changed every few minutes, then had to mop blood of the floor! They gave me a few goes of the epidural but things progressed so quickly from when they broke my waters that there wasn't time for it to work properly. They sprayed stuff on me to work out where I could and couldn't feel it but I could still feel it pretty much everywhere. I was by this point getting quite tired and talk began to go towards heading to surgery for forceps or the proviso of an elective c. It was at this point that they thought I was still about 2 hours from delivering her so they were starting to get concerned. I had other ideas and just started pushing, much to the midwives' surprise and apparently they had never seen anything like it, sheer determination which came from nowhere. I had got to the point where pain relief hadn't worked so I just wanted it over and done with as soon as possible.
I found the pushing really wasn't that bad, it gave me something to concentrate on and be an active part of, rather than the contractions which made me feel like a slave to them and unproductive! I was worried that the way I was pushing wasn't right and that it'd go wrong, but apparently instinct kicked in and every push was efficient. We needed a bit of help via the kiwi and an episiotomy but she was soon born at 8:22am on a sunny Sunday.
Overall we were so very lucky with our experience and the people who took care of us, which we are very thankful for! Oh, also, it turns out that she was in fact 42 weeks old (the placenta's deterioration gave this away), so the first appointment at the GP was infact the right due date-5th July! No wonder I was struggling so much by the end!
Saturday, 27 July 2013
Baby Outfit of the day
Here is Ophelia's first outfit of the day! We were very lucky to receive mountains of clothes (I have the smallest amount of clothes out of our whole household!) so I thought I would use my time to post some photos of Ophelia wearing her favourite outfits.
Stripey top George @ Asda
Flower leggings George @ Asda
Bib: Funky Giraffe
I love this outfit! I particularly love the bib which was given to us by some friends. They gave us lots in a variety of colours so perfect for lots of different outfits! We had been putting Ophelia in sleepsuits all the time, but I decided to try an outfit today and am so glad I did. I found it so much easier to get on and off come change time! Her legs are like frogs and she has really strong limbs so this makes it more straightforward and less stressful for her.
Flower leggings George @ Asda
Bib: Funky Giraffe
I love this outfit! I particularly love the bib which was given to us by some friends. They gave us lots in a variety of colours so perfect for lots of different outfits! We had been putting Ophelia in sleepsuits all the time, but I decided to try an outfit today and am so glad I did. I found it so much easier to get on and off come change time! Her legs are like frogs and she has really strong limbs so this makes it more straightforward and less stressful for her.
Thursday, 25 July 2013
21st July 2013
Our daughter decided to make an appearance a 822am on Sunday so i'll
be off the radar whilst I literally have my hands full with her.
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